Ideas? Anyone? Anyone? Beuller?
When I wrote Tired of Being a Nice Guy, I posted chapters as they were completed. For most of my other stories, I didn't begin posting the first chapter until the story was complete. Each method has its pros and cons.
Waiting until I've completed the story to post gives me the ability to go back and change any details that later deviations from my original ideas invalidated. It also let me publish on a regular schedule without concern for what crazy things in my life were doing to my writing schedule.
On the other hand, what I miss most from posting chapters as I write them is the feedback that I get from users. A number of Tired's chapters were based largely on reader suggestions. Nevertheless, as I write this next story, and knowing how crazy my life has been lately, I am going to wait until I've finished this one before posting.
Still, I want your ideas. If you've read Growing, you may have ideas that you might like me to explore. Please let me know what those are. I may or may not use them, but I'm very interested in hearing them. Keep in mind the nature of the characters; presumably you've read the first and know that Girl is not going to become a Domme. I hope that I can get ideas from you as good as I got on Tired. Credit will of course be given where credit is due.
If you want other people's comments on this, check out the comments. If you want to send me something private, you can post a comment to me on my page at SOL or ASSTR.
M
Waiting until I've completed the story to post gives me the ability to go back and change any details that later deviations from my original ideas invalidated. It also let me publish on a regular schedule without concern for what crazy things in my life were doing to my writing schedule.
On the other hand, what I miss most from posting chapters as I write them is the feedback that I get from users. A number of Tired's chapters were based largely on reader suggestions. Nevertheless, as I write this next story, and knowing how crazy my life has been lately, I am going to wait until I've finished this one before posting.
Still, I want your ideas. If you've read Growing, you may have ideas that you might like me to explore. Please let me know what those are. I may or may not use them, but I'm very interested in hearing them. Keep in mind the nature of the characters; presumably you've read the first and know that Girl is not going to become a Domme. I hope that I can get ideas from you as good as I got on Tired. Credit will of course be given where credit is due.
If you want other people's comments on this, check out the comments. If you want to send me something private, you can post a comment to me on my page at SOL or ASSTR.
M
posted by MWTB at 4:40 PM
41 Comments:
Here are some random questions, most of which you've probably already considered.
No answers required, of course...
Girl isn't going to go Domme, and Helen isn't going to go Sub.
But, is Helen going to go Domme?
And, if so, with male or female subs?
Are there going to be visits with Suzy? (Assuming you're not going far enough down-time that Suzy is available to 'move in')
Is Jake going to stumble across any other 'lost lambs?'
I've forgotten how old Gemma is. Is she likely to show up to attend the same or a nearby college? If not, is Jake going to pick up a 'vanilla' girlfriend, or just play with his toys?
Is there a D/s social circle at the college, or nearby? How will Jake interact with them.
How will Jake deal with the transition from 'big fish' at high school to 'tiny minnow' in college?
I'd love for someone to discover a side of the spectrum he normally isn't on, ie. Helen or Jake as a submissive or Karen as a dominant, if only for a single session - you could write it as "experimenting" on their part. I think that Jake would experiment with this at least once sooner or later, anyway.
Good questions all!
Helen will definitely be a big part of this story - far bigger than the last. As for the other Helen questions, that's something you are going to have to wait and see.
Suzy will have to visit eventually! I'm not sure yet the extent of her involvement.
There are always lost lambs to find. :-)
There will be a D/s social circle. If anyone is from Boston and knows what the D/s scene is like there, I'd love to chat with you. I was in Boston long before I started down this road.
I'm not sure how he'll transition yet. Still working on it, but he's a fairly confident and secure guy, and he never really *needed* to be a big fish, so I suspect he won't have too many issues.
This is exactly the kind of thing that I'm looking for. This and specific scenes you think will work.
Thanks a lot! And BTW, if people want to to email me directly instead of posting here, use the contact page on SOL or my ASSTR page.
M.
I'm not sure that Jake will go submissive, but he will definitely try some things from the other side. Since I've gotten into the lifestyle, I think I can write some of this with a lot more realism than before, and since a good Master should always try to understand what His/Her slave is going through (to the extent that they can), it's always a good idea to experience it from the other side.
Some of the things that I learned from the spanking that I got were:
(a) slaves can be vindictive bitches.
(b) Girls hit hard!
(c) Spanking really didn't do anything for me.
M
On the 'specific scenes' front, I can envision several possiblities, some inspired by "Oil of Roses" by Fillmore
1) One of the professors is a Dom on the prowl, and tries to 'acquire' Kari; Jake has to defend his prize.
2) The reverse; this time the professor is abusing his (or her) toy, and Jake moves in to the 'rescue'
3) The 'topping from the bottom' game you mention in one of your replies: Jake finds a sub who plays the 'manipulate the top' game, only to find that not only is she not as clever as she thinks, but that Jake isn't nearly as unsophisticated as she thought.
(I'm guessing on the name here) There's also the fun that Nikki can bring to the game (Sarah's room mate)
first Idea...
JG Inc. the BAD girl who was his first client goes to this school...she's sure to recommend him to some select friends..so she will earn some spankings...he could turn that into a business
second idea...
his father traded his mother for a month to aquire Girl he could trade kari for a silimar term for some reason...cheri won't work for the idea...his promise to her and her fear of being replaced would make a bad expreince
three...
cheri likes public sex/exposure
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sites_of_interest_in_Boston%2C_Massachusetts
idea four
fraternities, sorieties and other organisations are a big part of college life how are they going to impact Jake's life even if he and his don't join hes still going to encounter them....
five
....have helen pledge....im sure she'll hate hazing but her new sisters would enjoy jake
Mmmm, good ideas. Sandy will definitely be involved, and there will be some spanking coming. And she does love procuring new girls for Jake, especially if she's involved.
I'll have to think about the trading thing. It could be an interesting twist, but I'd have to be careful how to work it in and still fit with Jake's protective nature - I may agree with what you said about Cheri, though now that she's secure with Jake, she might surprise us.
Ah, public sex. Are the Swan Boats big enough for some action? :-)
I actually hadn't given Fraternities and Sororities enough thought. Dog knows that there are plenty of stories about them, but to be honest, I didn't pledge, so my sum total knowledge of them comes from sex stories and Revenge of the Nerds; probably not a good basis for doing a realistic (or semi-realistic at least - this is erotica!) portrayal of what it's like. Perhaps someone who has really been in one can chat with me about what it's like. I'll poke at my own sources as well.
I'm not sure if any of the girls would pledge. The slaves almost certainly not, because it would take them away from Jake, and I'm not sure that Helen would, based on where I'm taking her, but Sandy almost definitely will. There's been a couple of stories where sororities 'adopt' a lovely boy for sex - I'm not sure if that will happen here though.
Hum...
Hazing...
What happens when a sub who doesn't know she (he) is a sub pledges a sorority (or frat) and finds out she (he) gets off on the hazing?
When she says, "Thank you, Ma'am, may I have another" she really means it?
How does she feel about that, and can Jake help? Especially interesting if they had a vanilla friendship before she pledged?
i didnt pledge but had roomates that did....people showed up at our dorm for no other reason than they were part of his frat...had another roomate whoses girlfriend was in Sorority....if they got together to hang or party there was always a Sister or two in tow..
then there was the friction...put the wrong houses together and there was war...
clubs and other similar orgs. recruited with bribes....free junk to bring you in to hear their pitches
you also have "savemes" they want to bring you to thier idea of religon reguardless of what you believe....and if you don't agree with them heaven forbid they almost get volient.
theres also campus life...school center as a place to hang...campus events to promote school spirit....campus theater showing obsure films having almost no audeinces prefect for well you get the idea...
Its a good thing I reread this story in the past month. :)
Here are my suggestions:
1. Suzy returns to Jake, apon graduation, while her mother lives with Jake's parents.
2. Gemma and Helen wind up as his girlfriends, Helen marries him while Gemma stays in the relationship.
3. Why join a D/s club when he has slaves in his own house?
4. I like Itemreaders suggestions.
5. Cheri and Keri become pregnant. u choose the reasoning: jealousy, insecurity, 'the pill' gone bad... I like this idea, Cheri gets to have Jakes first child. :)
I didn't pledge either. I was never a 'normal' college student. I commuted 60 miles each way to go to college, until my grades fell. When I returned to college I was 27 years old. Too old to fiddle with that crap. Besides, drinking and getting drunk was NEVER my style.
Ummm do you want any early readers/beta testers?
asdf
for itemreader -
Mmmm, the hazing as a way of bringing out a sub. An interesting concept. Anyone been through that?
for freshonabrokenleash -
Thanks for the insight. I didn't really think about the rivalries, though I did see Animal House. :-)
Something to think about.
I think I'm going to ignore savemes. I have some definitive views on religion, and I know what I think of proselytizers, but I don't want to make this into a diatribe. My view is firmly that each person has a right to live as they want, and that world view is completely OK with me, as long as it doesn't impinge on my rights to live my life, so I'll just let it be.
Hey, I worked for the cinema group showing those obscure films! There was a lot you could do in the projection booth as well. :-)
for anonymous -
1. Suzy will definitely put in an appearance. I'll have to see where it ends up and what her relationship with Roy is two years later.
2. Gemma's not really around. It's funny, because when I first envisioned the story, Gemma was going to be a much more central character, but it just never really happened to my satisfaction. It's probably because I based her on someone who I met only briefly. I enjoyed the way she looked, but I never got to know her as a person, so I was never able to really fully flesh out the character. Lesson learned. I need to either know the person I'm basing the character on well, or make up the character completely.
3. He will join a D/s club because, despite having his own slaves, there are always other people that he can learn from. Plus, having this experience myself, I can say with certainty that it is far easier being friends with people who I can open up to, who completely understand and accept my lifestyle, rather than people who I have to hide or explain my life to. Plus, the best parties are in other people's houses - public dungeons are just the tip of the iceberg. :-)
4. Me too!
5. Pregnancy is a funny thing. The problem with it is that when you are done, you have a kid. Having a couple of my own, I know that it can be a real annoyance when it comes to sex. (Daddy, what is that swishing sound, and why is mommy screaming?) I'd either have to completely ignore the realism (which it is true, I am wont to to), or add a lot more annoyance and drama. Though I imagine that it would be far easier on the parents when you have two other slaves in the house to help out. I know there are times when I desperately want another slave, if only in a domestic capacity! (Though to be fair, another slave in the bed doesn't disgust me either.)
As I get a little into it, I am definitely willing to have a select few reading and giving me ideas as I go along. Last time I waited until much later, and I had to incorporate a lot of good ideas, but way ahead. Maybe this time I'll send to my editors in the sporadic fashion that I write, and incorporate their suggestions earlier.
Glad you guys like my suggestions.
I have to be careful, though, the last time I did this, I made enough suggestions and sample text that I ended up being listed as a co-author (on a story that's far from complete, so it may not count...)
on Pregnancy
if you include it i feel you have to leaving in all its ugly warts with the beauty of it
like explaining to the OB why the mother to be has whip scarrs
ofcourse thats a good reason to join the D/s community so you have the right contacts for matters
then theres the phyical side of it the wrong stress may cause misscarrage or the pregnant mother body can only handle sex in certain ways...
theres the money issue aswell
after the birth theres the care of the child ...and the education of said child....and so on
basicly if you gloss it over it loses realism and makes the story shallow
show that D/s relationship is like any other and that it takes work on both sides to work....
Just once I want one of those bare foot and pregnant stroke stories to show the woman throwing the frying pan at the arrogant pig's head.....sorry ranting
Firming up a couple of previous suggestions...
Helen pledges to a sorority, then discovers that the initiation includes a spanking with a paddle, and drops out in a huff. This has
substantial social penalties, which
Jake helps her through.
Meanwhile, a fellow pledge is suffering depression, because she got off during the spanking, and the chapter president is trying to make her into a slave. The pledge speaks to Helen, and Jake intervenes...
I know you are reluctant to the "kids" idea, but maybe in part 2, maybe in part 3 (I _really_ enjoy your writing) you could expand into Jake teaching his kids in this way of life, maybe a son that Jake thinks will be a master, but chooses to be a slave after learning about the lifestyle.
If you want a good 'sourcebook' on Sororities, I can recommend Alexandra Robbins' "Pledged: The Secret Life of Sororites". I really mean the sourcebook comment: coming from the UK I had no concept at all of the US 'greek' life until I read this. Suddenly so many stories I was reading made sense!
Tinyurl: http://tinyurl.com/ypxk4n
Jack has grown up and he has already quite a harem. And we readers have more than enough female protagonists we love and would like to see again.
This limits the options for any storyplot in a sequel. Itemreaders has listed the most obvious reasonable ones. I agree that the Helen issue provide the best ground for the second volume.
I could imagine that the new chapters will be driven by impacts from outside, mainly contacts made by the girls/women he lives with:
- Cheri could meet ordinary wives in the neighborhood or makes friends at her job,
- Kari would look for other submissives at the university,
- Sandy will add the dirty encounters and stay in contact with the JGs,
- Helen will invite the most self-confident ones (to resist Jack),
- Girl will be desired in the D/S community.
Because we are in Boston, let’s have some action in restaurants, bars, theatres, museums, public traffic, at receptions, dinner invitations for flirting, voyeurism, hidden stuff under the table, maybe more.
Something new could be dealing with other (D/S-)couples:
- rivalry and jealousy
- the wife is submissive, the husband doesn’t know
- the wife is submissive, but the husband isn’t dominant and therefore allows Jack …
- the husband or the wife desire one of Jack’s women etc.
Still a point to be exploited is the fact how young, but experienced Jack is.
To be dominated by a “boy” could be a special kick. Therefore I imagine a prominent woman (a rich society lady, a famous model, a powerful lawyer, a very sophisticated professor, a successful CEO etc.) submitting to Jack.
An alternative could be woman who does not love Jack at all, but regularly needs to be dominated or spanked (not playful like Sandy, more like junkie). She hates it, but has nobody than Jack in reach …
I also love the idea that the rest of Jack’s family is not so understanding with the lifestyle of his parents and confronts him …
A longer visit by his mother (and Renee) in Boston might be interesting, too.
Of course, a reunion with Suzy is obligatory. Gemma might want to see Jack again and become a rival of Helen. Last, but not least Kate wants to enact something special and comes to Boston with …
Whew - so many good thoughts to comment on!
To Freakonbrokenleash -
If I choose to include the pregnancy, I will. I've lived through it, and I understand what a pain in the ass it is, but figuratively and literally. Though you'd be surprised at how many kink-aware professionals that are out there that will understand when you explain the scars - you just need to find the right one!
I think a lot of the realism is why I don't want to do it. I've met people raising young kids in an M/s household, and interacted with some of the kids, and there are issues! Hell, I haven't gotten around to figuring out what I'm going to do when my kids figure it out!
To itemreader -
I don't think it will happen like that, though to be fair, just because you're a Dom doesn't mean you don't like a good spanking now and then. I personally didn't like it when I got it, but I know Masters of both sexes that do.
I like the pledge discovering her desire for SM. I'll have to see how I can work it in.
To TechV10 -
Maybe in part 3, though I did a little of that in part 1.
To Steveh11 -
Thanks! I think I'll try and get that, though I personally work much better when talking to real people that I can ask questions of. I've started to talk to one college student who is not a pledge, but sees them all, and she has a pretty low opinion of Frats and Sororities, but with good reason. I'll still keep looking for people to talk to, as well.
To bdgv -
I like a lot of your ideas too! I think Cheri is going to start working. With the kids out of the house most of the time and Girl there to do the housework, there's not much for her to do. But I like the meeting the neighbors even better.
There will definitely be interactions with other people at the Uni. If anyone knows of on campus BDSM groups, I'd love to talk to someone about how they interact with the school. Are they just another club like the chess or drama clubs, or is it more on the sly?
Sandy will *definitely* be involved. I just like her attitudes way too much not to have her around.
I'm not sure what you mean about Helen inviting the most self-confident ones.
I'm still not sure what to do about Girl outside the home. She definitely needs protecting.
I haven't much dealt with jealousy and rivalry - it's always something that just doesn't need to exist, but we all know that's not true, even in the best M/s poly households. I'm definitely going to have to address that somewhere.
I like the older lady scenario, especially if he gets into the local lifestyle scene. I can imagine quite a few jealous older masters as well, when he walks in with his harem of slaves.
I'm not sure about making Jake a pro Dom, though.
I think that it would go against the premise if his parents didn't accept the lifestyle, but there will definitely be visits from relatives and friends.
Lots to think about, guys! Thanks!
M
MTWB, your question...
If you were Helen, would you take home any "submissive" friends? Just on the contrary, Helen could shape a win-win-fun-scenario for herself taking home strong girls who either "shatter" Jack's world or are shattered by him ,,,
Regarding family I think the mass of Jack's family will be not very fond of his lifestyle and the lifestyle of his family. I just imagine some family meetings with gossip, morale (bigot) discussions and "save Jack" initiatives ... (but under the surface?)
Cheers
bdgv
to bdgv
its Jake...not jack
for an opener...
Cheri's punishment....
"I like the idea," I told her, "although you will be spending the weekend at my house in the dungeon, where we will discuss your presumptuousness."
....becuse she bought
Cheri moved to the computer and brought up some pictures. "They are two connected townhouses, three bedrooms each. Your side will have a master bedroom for you, an office and a guest bedroom. On our side, Karen and I will share the master bedroom and Helen will get a bedroom on a different floor."
time may have moved past that weekend in the story, but you could have them moving in and have Cheri or jake remember....
next idea....
cross stories....
have kari meet Becky, Jamie and chrissy and get a few ideas...
Damn that's a lot of comments. I don't have much to contribute, and you've probably either heard it or thought of it already, but here it is: There's an opportunity to do a couple of things here. First, Helen is obviously just as "Dom" as Jake, but may be attracted to him in other ways, like maybe a "normal" kind of girl/boy relationship. Might lend a little balance to the story. At the same time, if they ended up being allies, they could "tag-team" the management of all the subs in their lives, maybe cooperating for a change, instead of struggling to dominate each other. It could also be good practise for facing the "outer world" and the kinds of pressures that world will likely try to impose on their lifestyle.
Hi, first of all I am glad that you are thinking of a second part. The story is pretty good, and although I like "A favor" better, I would enjoy a second, third... parts on "Growing...". What I would like to see? I have it clear I want Helen enslaved to Jake. Yes, I know that many readers think she is a dominant herself, but I don´t think she is really that dominant, I think that sometimes she is tempted. An idea: Helen might talk and talk about one of her female professors, an inteligent, independent, and outstanding woman. "Nothing to do with the submissives you have enslaved" she would comment. A hurted Jake might say "Well, maybe she is more submissive that you think" "In your dreams" she says. They start a back and forth discussion and finally Helen says "OK, a bet. If you enslave her I will be your slave for a month" Kari and Cheri are witnesses of the bet. Well, the rest is easy to imagine. Jake enslaves the professor (many interesting possibilites here) and a surprissed Helen has to pay the bet. At first she is unwilling but little by little a submissive side (its in her genes) starts to emerge and she becomes a devoted slave to Jake. At the end of the month she asks him to marry her into slavery, just like her mother and father are. Well, just an idea that appeals to me.
Good luck and I hope to see the first chapter of the second part soon.
What I’d like to see:
Karen, Jake and domination:
When I think about Karen’s character I picture her beginning as a girl very much like her mother and sister; I picture her very hurt and afraid and feeling abandoned when her father left them. But then I imagine she noticed how hurt, afraid and abandoned her mother and sister felt and her heart went out to them, she wanted to help and comfort them so, over time, she sort of “self evolved” to fill a needed role in the household, and became demanding and domineering. So that said, I feel there is submissive role inside Karen that wants to get out and be loved, but there are all these years of ‘playing a role’ fighting against it.
I like the last suggestion by M. Anonymous, Karen would need an "out; an excuse before she let herself go with Jake. A bet would be the perfect way: "This is'nt me" she could tell herself, "but I have to make good on my wagers (I have to follow the rules..)".
What I’d like to see:
Suzy returning to Jake.
I don’t know if there’s any canonical evidence to back this up, but I got the feeling that Jake is Suzy’s “love master”, the one she would most want to be with. I’m not saying she doesn’t love, or at least like, being with Rob, but I got the impression that Jake had become her dream man after rescuing her. (This might just be because I like fairytale endings, but I thought after all she’s been through she might deserve to end up with her prince charming.)
---
"It is a beautiful moment when the woman realizes that the man who owns her is her love master, and the man realizes that the girl he bought, looking up at him, tears in her eyes, is his love slave. Then the only danger is that he will weaken. One must be strong with a love slave. If one truly loves her, he will be that strong. The slavery in which a love slave is kept is an unusually deep slavery."
Page 236 - Beasts of Gor
---
What I’d like to see:
More with Nikki;
She’s hot; she’s punk, she has spiky, purple hair, lots of piercings and her mistress having her enjoy Jake was very, very hot. Also I get the impression she has a fetish for spanking, deep down inside. Physically she reminds me of Kelly from “The Blackwell Legacy” though she’s a little more open, personality wise. Does purple dye make it taste funny?
I was kind of curious to know what happened to Nikki and Sandy’s relationship after Jake revealed how much Sandy liked the spankings. I could picture Nikki making Sandy do naughty things around the campus, like taking off her underpants in the quad or unbuttoning a button every time her professor erased the board. I could also picture Sandy making Nikki strip off whenever they returned to their dorm room and then getting upset if Sandy brought someone else in with them.
What I’d like to see:
Pregnancy like Ideas:
I think Cheri would find it very humiliating and erotic to be teased by the situation of getting impregnated by a young boy, I can picture Jake whispering nasty accusations in her ear as he, (cough) plays the cello with her. It could be a running tease between them, all school year, even if Cheri and Jake are protected and she can’t actually be impregnated.
Girl on the other hand, I imagine that if Jake ordered girl to be pregnant, she’s experience all the symptoms of pregnancy without actually growing a baby. I don’t know why he’d do it though, maybe to tease Cheri?
We know almost nothing about girl’s background. What if one of her previous master’s wanted her back? Would she malfunction like a computer with conflicting commands?
What I’d like to see:
Karen, Jake and domination:
If Helen ever became the property of Jake, could her trade her to his father for six months in exchange for his mother? (It would give Helen a chance to be trained.)
What if the same thing happened to Jake at his new school as it did with Helen at his old school? I imagine some scheming, beautiful social climber might “fall in love” with Jake’s wealth and make a play for him, not knowing how good he has it at home. Would Helen laugh? Would Helen come to some epiphany about herself watching the other girl?
Just a curiosity, but are Rachel and Jeff attending the same school?
[Rachel and Jeff are from "the favor" right?]
Suggestions framed as Questions:
When Jake comes home to study everyday, would he have to lock himself in his room to keep from being distracted? Would he have to do all his studying at school? Would Jake meet any friends his own age, friends who wouldn’t know anything about his extra-curricular home life? What about a teacher who’d give him bad grades because he or she didn’t approve of his home life?
I imagine Jake could order girl to stand guard outside his door and deny access to anyone without an important reason to disturb him (and to “distract” anyone who doesn’t).
Things to do with Katherine (aside from the obvious):
Jake comes home one day to find his household completely reorganized, with Katherine playing the role of a stereotypical ‘50s mother-in-law and the rest of the ladies playing along. All the sexual objects and innuendo are removed from the house, but Jake ends up secretly, repeatedly having sex anyway.
Katherine comes over to visit and won’t stop acting like a television portrayed college girl.
Katherine comes over for Xmas, dressed as Mrs. Claus.
Jake throws a toga party and Katherine invites some friends over for some ancient-Grecian roleplaying.
Roy seemed to be a good guy. He realized that Suzy still and would probably always love Jake. That in itself could've endeared her to him further, as time goes on, possibly enough for her to be happier with him.
On a side note, hot teacher, or i suppose in this case librarian/teacher is a staple of uh... something.
On another note: I think Girl should get some more action. She seemed to be left out for the most part in the second half. But such is the case one's master has his own constantly growing harem.
I met more than one wife who was interested to explore her submissive side, but didn't want to show this side to her husband, because she was scared that he would not respect her anymore or would then dominate the real life as well. (These wives looked for professionals, but because men are very rare here, they had to look for help of a profesional dominatrix.)
I could imagine that jake meets a couple where the husband - for some reason - isn't interested or doesn't want to see his adored wife on her knees, but is tolerant enough to allow his wife to expliore her submissive side with Jake, Helen or his slaves ...
bdgv
Kari could become a brilliant student. Therefor the (female) professors will promise her a great career and wonder why she is not interested ...
Helen might want to learn about her dominant side. Teased by Girl or by a deal with her she takes advantage of Girl ... and so compensation is due, carried out by Girl or Jake.
Sandy, knowing that Chari is a JG,too, might want to act out some dirty fantasy with Chari as her mother.
Girl could become a deeper friend of Chrai (they are more or less the same age) and develop more personal feelings for ... in the new community.
bdgv
It probably has been mentioned already but you should consider another Male.
I mean, poor Jake, he has a lot of Girls that he will have to serve fulltime.
What about a sub Male who can help a little bit around with the girls, of which Jake cant be jealous of because he is so sub he will never be a threat, kind of like a male Suzy?
I also think that it could be a good idea to have Mary come over more often, in exchange he sends kari home or something (maybe Cheri).
He doesent have to prove anything to anyone in Boston Uni because he is satisfied at home, but I also really love the idea of getting a Prof (Female) involved who will get dominated by Jake and help him with life in Boston.
Futhermore Jake is going to have to do something about getting some money, I think he is to proud to be accepting charity from Cheri for to much longer, maybe he can invent something and patent it or have a service company or something, however he should be making his own money.
I think that marriage isnt going to work for him because no female will allow that kind of relationship to carry on, unless of course he convinces Helen to marry him, but she should fall in love/lust with someone else (maybe the male sub).
Well thats all the ideas I have for now, hope some of them help.
Dan
From an earlier comment, Jake is going to get involved with the Boston D/s community.
Would this community secretly promote a fraternity that as far as the rest of the college is concerned is completely normal, if not known for getting into less trouble with the law and the administration than most.
As part of the pledging, he would have to prove he's a Master. In that process he might temporarily lose one of his harem, but eventually regain not only them but a slave from an upperclassman.
Mostly independent from that idea, what if Jake were to find himself the master of a male. This would come about by Jake acepting a gift from a friend who has a male and several female slaves - thinking he was getting one of the female ones. Possible names might be found at http://www.behindthename.com/nmc/eng_u.php
While this male sees himself below Jake, he sees himself higher than any of Jake's harem - which causes confusion until Jake straightens him out.
One of Jake's harem becomes pregnant but loses the child. Some of the others fear Jake was the cause - perhaps unintentionally.
Something happens that makes Jake appear to be voluntarily submitting to another. This causes a rift in his harem until he can prove - first to himself - that while his body was forced into that condition, his mind never submitted.
One of Jake's subs is able to dominate a would-be master. Jake wonders about that abnomily until he learns that they were just behaving acording to a comment he'd made and promtly forgot about.
Knight Ranger
I think it would be neat if the second part started with Helen ALREADY the devoted slave of Jake. Then the next chapters could backtrack and we find out how it happened.
I've been poked for updates to my blog. I just posted another entry to explain my absence, and I thought it would be a good time to address all the ideas that you've given me since I last posted. I didn't include the statement that I was addressing, so sorry to say you'll have to look at the comment I'm referring to in order to make sense of some of these thoughts.
To bdgv:
- I think Helen will have all sorts of friends who present challenges in many different ways, and I'm not sure if/how I'll work in the family. Its another one of those conflict things that I find so annoying, but is more real. Perhaps if he can win one or two of them over. I've been talking to people who are, to one extent or another, out to their families, and I'm surprised by how few had families that have stopped associating with them, and saddened by the few that have had the opposite experience.
To freakonbrokenleash:
- I absolutely did not forget that scene, it was an explicit set up, and that lovely townhouse features prominently in the next book.
- As for cross story ideas, that's been suggested before, but I'm not sure that I'd want to do that. I don't think that there is anything in the universe that would preclude that from happening, but I think of them as two different worlds. Also, if I did it, I'd have to keep track of that many more characters all at the same time, and I think my head might explode. :-)
To Quantum Mechanic:
I've met people who believe a Master should have slaves that, while he has sex with, he is not romantically attached to, and have a regular girlfriend for the romantic attachment. That, however, would not work for me, and I don't think that Jake could ever be in a completely vanilla relationship. That said, Helen will definitely feature more strongly in Jake's life. I like the thought of being some sort of co-manager.
To Anonymous:
- Mmmm, enslavement as a bet. Interesting. I can think of all sorts of interesting wrinkles on prizes.
To Crimson Knight:
I'll get back to you in a minute - so many comments! :-D
To CB:
- I don't remember off the top of my head.
To Double H:
Girl will definitely get more action, and hot teacher is always good for a fantasy or two.
:-)
To bdgv:
- I know people whose husbands aren't willing or able to be Dom, and they are OK with their wife having a Master. That could be an interesting tack. Plus, it would be good for her to be in Jake's household because there are all those sister slaves to help her understand her feelings.
To dandaviz:
- Another male is interesting, especially a slave. Again, I know straight men that have had male slaves, and this one would have the added benefit of girls to relieve his sexual tension.
- I do think Mary should visit frequently - what mother wouldn't want to see her son?
- I think the whole 'invent something' is just too out there. Yes, it would be good to make money, but realistically, he is a college student, and not one whose focus has been on studying things deeply enough to come up with a good invention or discovery. I think that everyone in the household should contribute something, Jake included, though to be honest, it will be hard enough to juggle school and all the slaves, let alone throw in a job.
- I disagree about the marriage. Polyamory is becoming very popular, and there are open marriages, or it could be someone who doesn't mind an extra body in the bedroom every know and again, however he will have to be very selective about who he gets into a relationship with.
To Anonymous (Knight Ranger):
- There are actually BDSM clubs on quite a few campuses, so it needn't be all that secret (though Mass has some of the most ridiculous and restrictive laws around, and a police force that likes using them), but low key might be more prudent.
- I feel that every Master is a Master in his own way (though I know people who advocate requiring certain things from a Master), so I wouldn't be comfortable putting Master's through testing, though it could seve as a resource.
- I've addressed the other male thing above, though the hierarchy is an interesting twist. There are also quite a few switches out there, people who sub to one person, but dominate another. That can be interesting.
And now, Crimson Knight: :-)
- You talk about Karen, but I suspect that you really mean Helen. I see what you're saying, but that's not really how I envision her.
- I agree about Suzy - she will have to return. I'm not really into Gor, but I like the love slave concept.
- I like Nikki too, she'll be back. I'm not familiar with the Blackwell Legacy. There will be more of an explanation and exposition of Nikki and Sandy's relationship.
- As far as pregnancy, I have to think on it. Yeah, the thought of knocking someone up is hot, but the thought of waking up every night to a crying baby, mood swings, depression and all the other lovely things that come with a baby are not.
- I don't think that Girl would have issues if a previous Master appears - she is a smart girl and knows who her Master is.
- We'll see what happens with Helen.
- I like your thought about a golddigger going after Jake.
- I'll definitely have to give some thoughts to Jake's friends, but I think he should be able to arrange some no-distraction time for himself.
- I like your 50's fantasy and the other fantasies.
- I'll have to see how the 'show the ending, then go back to the beginning' works for me. It implies a little more structure than I have in my writing, so I would have to finish the story first, then go back and rejigger it.
Whew, I think I got it all! If I missed your comment, sorry, just point it out and I'll address it.
M
Sorry I didn't take the time to read everyone's comments, but there are just so many. What I _have_ read I've liked, but be warned my comments below may be repetitions of those above.
Side Story:
Suzy and Ron should keep their relationship. Having someone "like Girl" in a relationship with a man who loves her as a wife will be quite different from what Girl has experienced. This would make a nice side-story as the two of them deal with the conflict between their boyfriend/girlfriend relationship and their master/slave relationship. It's definitely an opportunity to show a different facet of the lifestyle, one where Ron may try to fit into the "vanilla" world at least publicly. Of course this would probably be more of a drama type story; I don't know if that's your thing.
Main Story:
1) Fact: The "JG"s at the college aren't going to stop (duh). Jake should hopefully realize this (this time) and it could be interesting seeing how he deals with the girls who want to "add members" and Jake who already "has enough".
2) Helen... now here is a relationship that should definitely be explored. Just how does a dom/dom friendship differ from a regular friendship? There's a lot of potential here, for example...
a) Helen has Jake teach her how to be a proper mistress
b) The tables are turned on Helen's sister and mother when Helen starts parading her own "harem" around (or at the very least a boyfriend/girlfriend).
c) Helen and Jake, master and mistress, each with their "own" toys (which they often share)
d) Um... did anyone remember to order a dungeon for this new place...?
3) College life... well Jake has no reason to pledge of course. His slaves have no reason either, they already know where they belong. The JGs... maybe, but only to provide Jake with "access" to all its members. I'd suggest that Jake would be quite unhappy with any JGs who planned such a thing. He has little enough time as it is.
4) Just what IS the advantage of having slaves as a college student? Some obvious ones include cooking, cleaning and laundry. What else? How can a slave assist her master with his classes? She could certainly read his lit books out-loud to him. She could quiz him and help him study. Could she attend a class for him? Type up his papers? Do his research? Where's the line between "helping" and "cheating"? Then of course out on the extreme end is trading a night with Girl for "extra credit".
5) Toss in a "vanilla" girl friend (not girlfriend) who has a crush on Jake (she's a fellow freshman of course). He's completely oblivious to her crush. The girls are amused and keep dropping subtle hints, but he NEVER catches on. Just a little subplot that could add in some humor/frustration to flavor the story.
Comments --
I like Suzy's story. Ya done good there, having Jake turn "the school slut" into a happy and well-adjusted girl. And passing her off not to some steroid-brained bozo but to a conscientious guy, was a nice end to her story. Bring her to Boston from time to time. May she live long and prosper.
Helen -- don't ever let Helen and Jake have sex, it would destroy their friendship. They are indeed friends now -- yet if you put these two in a large room, Helen is the only person there not wanting to get into Jake's pants, and he's the only person there not wanting to get into her pants. And yet, he respects her and she respects him. (In fact, at college I think Helen will discover that Jake is the only man she can respect.)
Let me suggest a new story line. Up till now, those who have discovered Jake's D/s lifestyle have not given him grief for it (beyond brief this-is-abuse lip service). But what if there is some pantsuit-wearing feminist in Boston who believes, "A woman cannot start on the path to empowerment until her man is groveling for sex"? Such a feminist would see Jake as DANGEROUS (because he gets women groveling for sex), and this feminist would set out to destroy Jake (or at least emasculate him.) Poor Helen would be caught in the middle -- she would want to know how to empower herself more, and so would want the friendship of these feminists; but she would know that Jake is not evil, and is actually meeting some women's needs.
Just as gays talk about "gaydar," I assume that Jake now has finely honed "sub-dar." It might be fun to write a scene from the Point of View of such a girl: She's minding her own business, then this guy starts talking to her, then he starts ordering her around, then he tells her to leave with him and she does, and she isn't sure what's going on, but she likes it.
Of course, Sandy will be sending girls to Jake.
How would Jake react if a submissive homosexual or a submissive transsexual begged to be Jake's sub?
Jake stumbles upon the current whereabouts of Mr. Crane (Renee's deserting husband, Laura/Suzy's father).
During a layover in Boston, Karrin the stewardess...
Gotta give background on Girl.
To earn money, Jake takes a job delivering pizzas. He meets interesting people.
Jake encounters a professional dominant: Con artist, car salesman, door-to-door salesman.
You wrote: "5) Toss in a `vanilla' girl friend (not girlfriend) who has a crush on Jake (she's a fellow freshman of course). He's completely oblivious to her crush. The girls are amused and keep dropping subtle hints, but he NEVER catches on. Just a little subplot that could add in some humor/frustration to flavor the story." I don't see Jake this way. To me, he's got a Black Belt in human nature. I see him as the exact opposite of clueless: At Freshman Orientation (in which he's in a room entirely of strangers), in five minutes he's figured out at least one true thing about every person there.
With regards to the pregnancy idea, I see both sides (the fun of playing with various pregnancy themes and ideas versus the limitations that an infant/small child might have on the story). What about a compromise? Cheri meets a neighbor couple who are great potential parents but are childless. The infertility is on the male half of the couple. Let them be totally monogamous to each other. Cheri requests that Jake allow her to become pregnant so that the couple can adopt the baby. Make it clear that Cheri is convinced that the baby will have a great home and be cherished.
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